Acupunture, or, I Watch a Lot of Movies, It Seems

Reading reports about likely post-surgery lip/chin numbness, both temporary and permanent have got me fairly nervous. So I followed the advice of several bloggers and have decided to give acupuncture a go to help get my nerves back and working.

Miraculously enough, it turns out my insurance company actually covers this proceedure -- that is, of course, as long as you choses omeone off of there plan. I did some shopping for the area and found a doctor about 15 minutes away that had 50+ good reviews and no real bad reviews to speak of and made an appointment for about a week and a half ago. I'd never done thris before, and openly admit part of me was woried about being, well, snake oil for lack of a better term, but the reviews I'd read of it directly relating to jaw surgery were very encouraging, so I put on my good attitude, grabbed my keys and headed out. I figure at the very least I'd be out one hour and $15 if it did nothing.

My doctor (is that the right term? Practictioner? Technician?) ended up being a cheerful Chinese man with a permanent smile and a pretty damned gentle hand. He led me into the room, asked me what issues what I was there for, and then explained what he was gong to be doing. Now I don't have a needle phobia exactly, but if I'm ever getting an injection, or blood drawn, or something put in a vein for an MRI, I just know I don't need to watch. Happily for me, he didn't actually show me any needles or anything.

For the first few sessions, the doctor basically treated me for TMJ, and only gave me needles around the jaw joint. And for the most part, it all went fine. It didn't hurt -- well, not exactly. The needles going in is a pretty quick and painless process, but there were one or two that landed in just 'slightly' the wrong position and stung, which I mentioned (read: bellowed) and he quickly fixed. Then he goes back around and pushes them all in slowly until he hits what he referred to as the 'pain point'. Translated that means I'd get a very brief moment of sharp pain of some sort (it was always a little different in each spot,) and then he'd back off just a bit. Wanted to make sure he was actually at the nerve.

He then goes around and hooks a small current box to all of the pins with wee all-i-ga-tor clips. Each section of my face is a different set of wires. He oh-so-slowly turns up the current, asking me after each time if I can feel anything yetl I'd get sort of a twitchy undercurrent of, well, current going through the area. There were times when he'd accidentally overshoot, and suddenly part of my face was filled with this huge pressure, and would either twist up somewhat, or an eyebrow would suddenly try to jitter off my face, but he would immediately back off when that happened. Again, it didn't hurt exactly, but always reminded me of that machine in the arcade of the Boardwalk/Great America/amusement park of choice where you hold onto the brass handles and the electricitiy slowly increases -- except without the slowly part, and in your face. Better yet, everytime I lay down on the table, I picture Wesley from the Princess Bride when he's strapped down to The Machine. I have yet to leave an acupuncture session 'mostly dead', however.

Then you lay there. And I try to relax, and it kind of works, except that there's always a stray tic in my face now, or the switch for my eyelids is now set to full open. And let's not forget that, yes, you now resemble a second cousin of Pinhead from Hellraiser, and any unnecessary movement *will* send shooting pain through that particular disturbed nerve and at least proove that the doctor does in fact have the correct nerve pinpointed (so to speak.) Try to relax? Yes -- just as carefully as possible. But then again, maybe I'm paranoid. If I am ever kidnapped or for any other reason being held captive, all my keepers will have to do is give me acupuncture. I will not move or otherwise make any attempt to escape, lemme tell you.

But soon the sensations become oddly normal, and after a while the doctor comes in to turn everything up a bit. You *do* start to relax, and you become aware that this or that part of your body is tense, and you begin to let go. I've done it 3 times now, and by the end of it, without fail, I'm starting to doze. Taking everything out is a breeze too: switches off, unplug the machine, unclip all-i-ga-tors, smoothly pull out pins. Et voila! You are done.

Does it work? Well, I think it does. My jaw definitely feels looser after every visit I go to. And as far as stimulating the nerves post surgery, I think doc and The Machine have proven there's definitely something going on there. Will it make a difference if I keep doing it after the surgery? Will the difference stick after surgery? I guess only time will tell...